Stonewalling as a Conflict Style Pattern

Stonewalling Conflict Resolution

One of the most toxic and damaging forms of conflict styles is stonewalling.

It can predict this toxic conflict pattern will eventually lead to a breakdown in communication and intimacy and lead to the demise of the relationship if it is not addressed or healed.

Stonewalling is when your partner gets upset with you, they will use the silent treatment and shut down.

They will withdraw emotionally and physically. This can go on as be used as punishment to hurt you. They will be in a good mood to everyone else and pretend nothing is bothering them yet to you they will continue this silent treatment. This can be very damaging to a partner who wants to resolve issues and talk about things and the other just shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about it so nothing ever gets resolved.

You are left hanging and things start stacking on top of each other. This creates more and more distance and more conflict.

When they finally come around, they act as if everything is okay. They do not want to discuss the issue. Because nothing gets resolved, more and more distance starts to form between the couple.

When you do get into another argument then a lot of stuff gets brought up at once and this can be brought up from both sides which is another toxic conflict pattern.

Tip

· If you have a habit of withdrawing or shutting down, to prevent this from happening ensure that you tell your partner you need some space and you will talk about it later.

· Offer some form of assurance to your partner, as this is a difficult conflict pattern to accept if your partner’s conflict style is to want to resolve things and communicate.

· Take some time out on both sides, allow your partner the space to cool down and aim to talk about it in a healthy respectful way and listen to others perspective.

Unfortunately, a lot of the conflict styles are formed from a young age from 3 – 5 years old and these are carried through to adult hood relationships. They may have had an avoidant parent, or abusive parent and this was there way of coping.

Healthy Communication is essential for long-lasting relationships.

If you need some help with dealing with communication and conflict or issues that come up in your relationships, click here to  book in for a free chat.

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