How Counsellors Can Help Blended Couples and Families

Blended Families Counselling

A lot of couples in blended families think that things will be relatively easy  once they move in together because they are in love but this is mostly rarely the case.

There is a myriad of complexities and issues facing the blending of families.  This is for both heterosexual and same sex relationships. These issues can range depending on the couple and the circumstances that brought them together:

Some of the issues are: 

*The age of kids from both sides
*Whether there’s a custody battle going on
*Whether there was an extra marital affair
*How many children from both sides
*The ages of the children eg teens,  and a newborn or toddler juggling demands
*Balancing  family commitments  and attention for everyone
*How children, teens get along with step parent and acceptance of new relationship
*Finding everyones place in the new blended family
*Discipline from new step parents can be seen as a parents loss of loyalty
* Juggling family commitments
*If an ex partner causes issues or feels jealous of time spent with new family
*How quickly the couple got together
*If step children are treated differently to biological children
*There may be resentment for new family if parent still pays child support for child living with ex partner and there is little money left for their blended family
*Children moving from house to house
*Having to consult with
ex partner for holidays, weekends and vacations can cause limitations and issues and disagreements in new relationship being able to go when they want or have everyone together
*Kids feeling left out

These complexities can cause conflict, disagreements and high stress for the couple and blended family.

When you are dealing with children, it’s important that things happen slowly.  They may not be ready to deal with some of the changes like discipline from a new step parent or feel they don’t know their place in the new blended family.

Learning to set boundaries early on the relationship  will be more beneficial as such communication is key for all the family to feel heard and given a voice  to adjust to the new family dynamics and personalities.

A lot of people have found it beneficial for the couple  or family to seek counselling  that can help them with:

*Conflict resolution
*Help them heal from past relationship or feelings of guilt or shame or judgment from external sources
* Help couples to work as a team
*Help couple and members of family establish healthy boundaries and discussions so everyone can benefit and be happy
*Help step parents work through unresolved issues
*Encourage a healthy relationship with ex as co-parents
*Help children maintain relations with  both parents

*Reassure children’s place in the blended family.

*Help with better communication styles.